how to "uninvite" family and friends to the wedding

Recently I had a bride call me who was pretty upset because she and her fiance decided to have a small wedding but they could only invite 30 people each.  As she started making her list, she realized that she would have to "uninvite" people who assumed they would be at the wedding. She started getting calls from her friends asking for details about the wedding.  She freaked out. She considered booking a bigger venue to accomodate more people but after consulting with her fiance, they decided that they were going to keep their vision of an intimate wedding.  Believe it or not, this is a very common issue with couples when making their guest list.  Here are a few suggestions on how to handle this situation as it is very touchy.

First, make a list of the people who you can't live without having at your wedding.  Kind of think of it as a boat dinghy and the ship is sinking and you can ONLY save 30 people's lives...yes, it feels this deep.  Then make a list of everyone else who you would love to be there but know you can't invite.  Now, send all of those people an email or a card letting them know the situation but also expressing to them how much they mean to you two. 

The reason that you'll need to do this is that people want to know that they're special to you and that they are important in your life.  They'll understand and many hurt feelings will be avoided if you confront the situation before it becomes a problem.  There will still be hurt feelings but at least you will have done your part.

1 comment:

  1. A wedding planner encouraging people to keep their ceremonies small and dignified rather than extravagant and gaudy? Sign me up!