how to deal with death during the planning process

Death is one of those things that I don't think anyone can prepare themselves for.  Whether it is expected or not, I've learned that when a death occurs there really isn't a guide to follow that makes the pain go away or makes it any easier.  I recently lost someone who is extremely close to me and his brother is getting married this summer.  His fiance is very supportive and jumped right in when it came to funeral preparations and just support in general. 

I'm not so sure if the things that I learned during this time apply differently during a wedding or not but I thought I'd share:
  1. Show up.  Whether you are a friend, estranged family member, fiance, boss, etc...SHOW UP.  Be available as much as possible.  Emotionally, mentally, physically.  
  2. Life is short and sometimes holding on to a grudge isn't what is important.  Unfortunately, death makes us face some of the petty and not so petty issues in life.
  3. The wedding will still go on.  Details can be discussed later.  Reschedule meetings, fittings, tastings, etc.  There will be time for those things later.
  4. It is ok to enjoy the wedding.  Death is always sad.  It is ok to be sad at the funeral and to not want to talk about wedding details.  Take your time.  Don't feel guilty when you start enjoying planning again.     

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